One of the deepest and strangest of all human moods is the mood which will suddenly strike us perhaps in a garden at night, or deep in sloping meadows, the feeling that every flower and leaf has just uttered something stupendously direct and important, and that we have by a prodigy of imbecility not heard or understood it. There is a certain poetic value, and that a genuine one, in this sense of having missed the full meaning of things. There is beauty, not only in wisdom, but in this dazed and dramatic ignorance.
As I look back on my life, I realize that every time I thought I was being rejected from something good, I was actually being re-directed to something better.
I would rather die of passion than of boredom.
One day, this could be me…
I wore the shoes that you gave me today.
Thought of you the whole time.
I feel like the decision that I made to do this was a good one. Maybe I said what I said because I was hurt. Maybe I said what I said because I genuinely think its the right thing to do…
Guess I wont really know whether it was a good decision or a bad decision till your gone.
Still… its only been two days. But putting it plain and simple, I miss my best friend.
god, i wish i was with you right now. only you. and not living any more.
i dont want to have to deal with the consequences of my own actions. actions that hurt the people who i love most dearly.
if life is like a ladder
a trellis against a wall
if like is like a mystery
who will catch my fall?
green and leafy tendrils
block my view
i look down i see my past
lies and twisted thick trunks
of vines that i gouged
trying to make my way up
but no going back
fake outs and confusion and broken branches
i look back
so dense the debris
i cannot see the solid ground on which i started
i cant turn back
nothing there but memories and broken things
if life is like a mystery
then it is twilight
among the thicket of branches
time between night and day
bright pink, purple, yellow
flowers guide my ascent
can i fully appreciate them in this fading light?
can i fully appreciate when urgency says “move up!”
“farther up and farther in”
its like a call
a wild call
i cannot deny it
i cannot understand it
so as i look the destruction of my past
colliding with my current state
suspended on this ladder of life
like a storm front
how will i receive the change in motion
to “further in and farther up”?
